Long Road Home:Logan's Return
by Rogue-Demon
Summary: After four long years in search of his past Logan returns to find the institute in shambles, Xavier's spirit broken, his friends' vanished, and the one he thought would be overjoyed to see him treats him as a deserter.FINISHED
1. Broken Spirit

Logan pulls up to the institute gates and cuts the engine on his bike. It had now been four years since he left  
  
Xavier's institute for Gifted Youngesters. He was finally back from the useless leads that had done nothing in his  
  
search for his past. Well at least people will be glad I returned,he thinks walking through the gates and stopping  
  
as he caught sight of where the beautiful institute had once stood. Now all that that remained there were a few  
  
blackened walls, some burnt places, and a tired older man sitting in a wheelchair. Logan stares at the man for a  
  
moment, then walks to him, but stops at his side staying silent. "Hello, Logan...so nice of you to return,"he tells him  
  
finally looking up at him with eyes full of pain. "What happened, Xavier?"Logan questions looking around the  
  
blackened mass that surrounded them,"Where's the institute?" "Gone...all this is gone, but we're rebuilding....  
  
There's a new institute." "What happened, Xavier?"he demands again wondering what had happened to the others  
  
that he'd met the years before when he first arrived. Xavier turns away, then then speaks,"Anti-Mutan riot the year  
  
after you left. They burned the institute. My X-Men tried to fight it, but we lost. Jean and Scott never recovered after  
  
she lost the baby...." "Baby? What baby?"Logan asks kneeling by him. "She was pregnant that year, Logan.....she  
  
lost the baby. Scott was devastated and they lef the institute.....we hear from them from time to time..." "What about  
  
Storm and Rogue?" He stood slowly thinking about the beautiful Jean he had once known and of the Scott he'd  
  
gotten such joy out of mocking. A baby? "Ororo left the next year once the new institute was complete. Talked of a  
  
nephew that needed her; Rogue teaches and is in control of one of our new alliances,"Xavier explains,"It's time to  
  
return to the new institute. You may come if you wish." Logan hesitates, then nods and begins following  
  
him...moving away from the wreckage that had once been the institute that had taught him so much and brought him  
  
everything........  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The new institute was more set off, then the old and also smaller. "Is the brotherhood in this kinda of condition or  
  
did it withstand?"Logan couldn't stop himself from asking as they reached the door. "It still exists if that's what you  
  
mean, Logan,"Xavier answers pushing in some numbers on a key pad and the door opens. The institute was  
  
destroyed, but the brotherood was unaffected? The thought causes a flash of anger in Logan, but he covers it  
  
following Xavier further into the building. The halls were empty and their footsteps echoed as they approached an  
  
office like room. Xavier moves over to the desk and appears to wait. Logan knew he was calling someone so he waits  
  
as well not saying anything. "You called Professor?"a new voice asks from the door pulling his attention away from  
  
they very silent Xavier. The woman that stood there was not much shorter then him with dark brown hair pulled back  
  
and white streaks framing her face. She was dressed in tight blue jeans, long-sleeved purple shirt, and black gloves.  
  
"Marie?"Logan says her name quietly staring at her. His eyes move down taking in all the changes in her and stop  
  
on the chain around her neck, a chain he'd given her. "Logan.....so nice of you to return at last,"Rogue tells him, but  
  
her voice and face were cold as ice to him,"You haven't changed a bit. What did you want, Professor?" "Show Logan  
  
to a spare room, then take him around, ok?" Though Xavier's words were spoken to them he didn't even seem to  
  
notice them as he stared out the window. Rogue nods briefly and turns on her heel and walks out leaving him to  
  
stay there with the silent Xavier or fall her into the silent halls. "Is Xavier ok, Marie?"he asks catching up to her and  
  
walking beside her. "No, Logan....he's not. He hadn't been okay since we lost the first institute. He tried to reach you,  
  
to bring you back, but you never answered,"Rogue explains continuing to walk away from him. Logan shakes his  
  
head,"I never got any message. I'm sorry....the leads were all fakes." "How nice for you,"she replies as coldly as  
  
before opening the door to a room,"Here's your room and these are yours." He watches as she removes the chain  
  
with his tags from around her neck and places it in his hand. He tries to give them back,"Keep 'em." "I'd rather not....  
  
after all I'm now engaged,"Rogue tells him walking out of his room. "Engaged? Since when? TO WHO?"he asks  
  
dropping his stuff and following her back into the hall. "Six month and Bobby..do you want the tour now?" She  
  
had turned her back on him. His anger deepens at this and he forces her to face him again. "Why are you treating me  
  
as if I deserted the institute?" "It's what you did, wasn't it? Now, do you want the damn tour or not?"her voice is now  
  
low and angry, but he could hear that she was not as happy to see him as he'd thought. "Sure......" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "This is one of our curren alliance groups...."Rogue points out walking into the gym,"Landon Keller, Jax,  
  
Nanaki Creed, Tara Woolfe, and Kristal Blade." "The first two and the last two are ok, but Creed?"he asks studying  
  
them. "Saber's neice...she doesn't know...." "Where'd you find them all?"he wonders aloud watching them. The one  
  
she'd referred to as Jax sat off all alone away from the others. Landon and Tara were standing together and appeared  
  
in conversation, while Kristal and Nanaki just looked as if they were still in training. "Kristal, Jax, and Nanaki found  
  
us....Landon and Tara are ex-brotherhood members,"she explains moving over to speak to them. "Ex-brotherhood  
  
members, now?"he asks wondering why it sounded wrong. "Yes, Logan....."she answers stopping not quiet to them  
  
yet,"Alot's changed since you left. More than you'll ever know. We're not the people you left behind and forgot  
  
about.........." 


	2. Rogue Confrontation

Logan paces the length of the hallway outside Rogue's class. The end of their conversation still rang in his ears....  
  
"Why do you treat me as if I deserted the institue?" "It's what you did, wasn't it?" How could she think I deserted  
  
the institute? Some part of him added, and her. Her class would let out in about five minutes and he intended to be  
  
waiting. He'd just passed the door again when it opened and he got his first real look at her alliance team. None of  
  
them looked over their teenage years. He quickly analyzed them:  
  
Landon reminded him of Scott, Tara reminded him of Toad, Nanaki didn't really make him think of anything except  
  
a very disturbed person, Kristal reminded him a little of Jean, but Jax was his favorite, the version of himself as he'd  
  
imagined it when he was younger..  
  
"Move out of the way, Logan,"a voice he'd come to love, but now hated says from in front of him. "I want to talk to  
  
you,"he growls gripping Rogue's arm and pulling her into the rec room. She pulls away and glares up at him. "You  
  
don't own me, Logan. You never did and you never will...." "To hell with owning you, Marie. How did I desert yo--  
  
the institute?"he demands closing the door with a loud bang. Rogue remains silent watching him. "I promised to  
  
come back and I did. How did I desert the institute?" "I don't owe you an explanation, now move,"she commands in  
  
that icy voice again, moving to shove past him. Logans catches one of her arms and twists it behind her back to hold  
  
her still. "You're not getting out of here until you answer me. We can spend all day and night here, Marie." "Let go,  
  
Logan....." There was a small hint of desperation in her voice now as she struggles to pull free of him. He tightens his  
  
grip slightly, but not hard enough to hurt her much. "How did I desert the institute?" Rogue loooks up at him with  
  
tears in her eyes as she answers,"Bobby's waiting. Let me go, Logan." He could feel her hands moving, but didn't  
  
connect the motion until her bare, free hand pressed against his cheek. Logan falls back feeling the affects of power,  
  
but before he sinks into unconscienceness he sees the tears sliding down her cheeks as she runs out....... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I promise to see you later, Bobby,"Rogue tells him kissing him on the cheek and taking off to Xavier's office. The  
  
memory of everything since Logan had returned stung to think about. She knocks on the door,"Professor?" ~Come  
  
in, Marie~he replies telepathically. Rogue opens the door and walks in. "You shouldn't hate him so, Rogue,"Xavier  
  
tells her turning from the window. "Why shouldn't I? He waited four years to come back and ignored your  
  
messages." She moves to stand at his side. "He wanted to know the truth, Marie.....another letter came from Scott  
  
today,"he tells her placing the letter in her hand. She stares at it a moment, then begins to read........  
  
Dear Xavier, Jeans' depression has lifted little since we left. She cries whenever I touch her for more then a moment or mention  
  
the institute. She allowed me to hold her today, but kept saying she was sorry; I guess for the baby. Any word on  
  
Logan yet? I just wanna know if he's even still alive. Tell Rogue and the others how much their support has helped  
  
us. Maybe we'll return soon. Forever your children, Jean and Scott  
  
"Maybe we'll return soon?"she scoffs reading it,"They've been saying that for about two years now." "When did  
  
you become so negative, Marie?"Xavier asks looking up at her. You don't understand, no one does,she thinks giving  
  
him back the letter. "What don't we understand? I've respected your privacy on the Logan issue, but tell me....."  
  
Rogue sighs,"I should check on him. I did kinda take his power. He's in the sickbay, Professor?" He nods and returns  
  
to his window staring out at the area where her students waited, except Landon who was in the sickbay as the  
  
emergency doctor; he said it was from mercenary training. Rogue walks out and down to the sickbay stopping as she  
  
noticed Tara and Landon who stood there. Landon stood over Tara as she leaned against the wall. His hands were  
  
on either side of her and they were kissing. Rogue clears her throat loudly, after a brief thought of what it would be  
  
like to kiss Logan that way. "Landon?" He pulls back guiltily looking to her as Tara blushes the slightest bit. "Yeah,  
  
Rogue?"he says moving so Tara could move, which she quickly does off down the hall. "Uh....how's Logan  
  
doing....?" 


	3. First Kiss?

Logan moans as he opens his eyes. They wouldn't focus at first, but finally he could see the guy who stood above  
  
him looking down. "Scott?"he says the name quietly, then realizes the hair was too long and the eyes were light  
  
blue, not covered by a visor. "He's coming around, Rogue....."the young man, who Logan had recognized as Landon  
  
stood over him staring down at him in curiosity. He felt as if he'd been run over by a truck and wanted to go back  
  
to sleep, but saw the face that at first seemed an angel, then turned into the hateful face of Rogue. Except that  
  
now it was filled with concern and he thought he saw tears glistening in her eyes. "Marie?"he speaks her name  
  
quietly lifting his hand and gripping her hand. She nods,"Yeah....I'm here, Logan." "He seems normal, Rogue, but  
  
might need some extra testing just to make sure that you didn't affect anything of importance....." Landon appears  
  
to be trying to give them as much privacy as possible without leaving his 'patient'. A kid not even legal drinking  
  
age yet is my doctor......God help me,Logan thinks realizing the truth as he struggles into a sitting position letting  
  
go of Rogue's hand finally. "Want me to go join the others, Rogue and tell them that training will be a little  
  
delayed?"Landon asks already moving to the door. She nods,"Tell Jax to start the similuation if he can remember  
  
how to do it." The young man nods and walks out of the sickbay and after a few minutes his footsteps vanish  
  
down the long hallway. "Did you come to finish the job?"Logan asks rubbing his head and watching her wearily.  
  
She shakes her head somewhat sadly,"Not at all.....Thought I should make sure that I didn't kill you, but we also  
  
got another letter from Scott and Jean today." "How are they?"he asks studying how much younger she suddenly  
  
looked then when he had first returned. She shakes her head,"Jean's still blaming herself for the baby. Scott says  
  
he can barely touch her, but some days are good. May return soon." Logan had thought that the ideal of Jean  
  
rejecting Scott would make him smile, but it made him feel sad and empty. "Wish I could have been here to  
  
help 'em....." "We all wish we could have stopped it,"Rogue replies turning away from him and staring out one  
  
of the windows. Logan didn't know why he did it, but he walked to her and puts his arms around her from behind  
  
without saying anything. She didn't freeze or pull away as he'd expected, but instead relaxed leaning back against  
  
him. "Marie?" She looks up at him and he bends his head kissing her lips lightly. She returns it, then quickly pulls  
  
away and walks out without another word or anything. I just made the biggest mistake of my life..........Logan  
  
thinks watching her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rogue walked slowly out to where her students waited rubbing her hand over her lips where Logan had kissed  
  
her. She wasn't sure why she'd let him or responded to him the way she did, but knew that it could never happen  
  
again with her being engaged to Bobby. Her students were no longer waiting outside so she walked into the  
  
institute and to the danger room stopping by Jax to watch. "Everything ok?"she questions trying not to show that  
  
anything out of the ordinary had happened. He nods and points to the training seession where the others were  
  
hard at work in their training; the only one not accounted for was Tara and Rogue looks around curious to see  
  
where the girl had gone to,"What happened to Tara?" "She'll be here,"Jax smiles from the sound of his voice  
  
confusing Rogue all the more. As if to emphasis the words something suddenly dropped down from the roof  
  
and knocked one of the figure busy with their task down. "Thought I said no more sneak attacks? Landon  
  
doesn't know how to handle everything that could happen,"Rogue tells him remembering the last time they'd  
  
used a sneak attack. Tara had been the attacker then and that one ended up with a very pissed Landon, a  
  
sorry Nanaki, and the Kristal and Jax were just confused. Landon had gotten it healed along with some help  
  
from Rogue with taking Nanaki's power. "Yes, Rogue....." Jax shuts the simulation down and goes in to speak  
  
to them. "No sneak attacks; Rogue says not after last time,"he tells them as she follows him into the danger  
  
room. All four of them groan,"Why not?" "I'm perfectly healed!"Tara announces crossing her arms and seeming  
  
annoyed. "Because I don't feel like having to almost resurrect my girlfriend again,"Landon scowls glowering at her  
  
from the corner of his eye. She mutters something. "Just go back to training;Jax watch everyone,"Rogue mumbles  
  
turning and heading out of the Danger Room. Usually watching her alliance at their training made her feel better,  
  
but today it just annoyed her and she couldn't take it out on them. It had been her choice about everything with  
  
Logan-the embrace, the kiss, her leaving. "Why did you have to come back, Logan? Why after so long.........?" 


	4. Needed

Disclaimer: Don't own these, except Jax, Landon, and Kristal. Nanaki and Tara are the property of Takamo used with permission out of stupidity. No comment on what would happen if I owned the X-men.....let's continue.  
  
I've decided to give some more information on Rogue's "alliance". I picked this back up because someone practically begged me to continue it and I got a very weird ideal. I'll be working on a new X-Men HUMOR fanfic soon so they'll both be slow. If you're wondering about the new one check my profile. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ "Xavier, where's Marie?" Logan stalks into the office, without bothering to knock. He hadn't seen her since he'd  
  
gotten released from the hospital that morning. He hadn't seen much of anyone, really. "Xavier!" There was no  
  
response so Logan slams his fist into the desk. The older man lifts his head. "Yes, Logan?" The usually calm Charles  
  
Xavier looked more confused then he'd ever seen him. "Marie, where is she?" "Medlab since early mor--" "Medlab?!  
  
What's she doing down there? Is she hurt?" Xavier was silent for a few minutes, then replies just as Logan was  
  
beginning to harbor thoughts of ramming his claws down the professor's throat. "Rogue's fine. One of her alliance  
  
members was hurt during a mission.......she hasn't left all nig--" Logan left before he could finish the sentence. One  
  
thought repeated in his mind. Maie needed him. He walked to the medlab and knocked on the door; nothing  
  
happened. An alarm set off in his mind and he exited his blades before cautiously entering. Logan's eyes adjusted  
  
almost instantly to the change of light and his gaze went to the still form on the med table and a form sitting beside  
  
it, asleep in the chair. "Maie?"he spoke her name quietly and walked over to her; she didn't move,"Rogue.." He  
  
touched her shoulder and she instantly woke, rising into a battle stance. "Marie, relax. It's just me...." She sighed and  
  
visibly relaxed,"Logan....what are you doing here?" "Xavier told me about what happened? You okay?"  
  
Rogue stared at Logan as the truth sank in. He'd come to check on her, he did care about her. "I'm fine, but it's not me  
  
I'm worried about. If it had been Nanaki, Jax, or Landon I wouldn't be so worried......Nanaki can heal same as you,  
  
Landon can heal enough so as not to die, and Jax, as far as we're aware can't die." "Wanna tell me what  
  
happened?"he asked, startling her as he glances over the teenager laying before him. It was one of the younger  
  
alliances, not as experienced. Not many people were willing to work with the younger students. Bobby had the only  
  
other group that actually went on missions. "Honestly? I don't where they screwed up. It should have been a clear  
  
shot, according to the professor. Although I'm not as worried about Tara as I am the other's reactions.." Her eyes  
  
moved once more to the girl laying before her. She was just eighteen and at first glance appeared normal, until  
  
someone noticed the reptile aspect to her looks; Rogue shook her head, studying the girl's brownish-green hair and  
  
the way her eyes were closed tightly in pain, even in her sleep. "What's wrong with the other's reactions?" Logan  
  
took her arm, not the least bit demands, and pulled her over to the other side of the medlab; they were still close  
  
enough to know if something was wrong. Rogue sighed,"Kris blames herself, Landon, too. They were suppoused to  
  
be covering her and both got sidetracked......I haven't gotten the whole story yet. Will you go let them know that  
  
Tara's okay? They should all be in the rec room, except maybe Jax. He said he would retire for the night...." "No  
  
concern for his teammate?" "More defiant of joining a team. Almost like you were when it first started....untrusting,  
  
selfish, a jerk, cared for no one but yourse--" He cut into her description of him aburptly,"Look, I thought it was  
  
for the best, then, Marie. Do you have to condem me now?" It hurt her to do it, but Rogue turned and walked back  
  
to Tara's bed. "You condemed yourself the day you left and waited so long to return...the others are waiting." She  
  
resumed her seat as if she'd never moved. She held her breathe until his footsteps faded completly down the hall and  
  
she was alone again in the medlab; there, alone, she allowed the tears to fall....  
  
"Dammnit, what's with her attitude? I thought things were going well between us..." Logan punched the wall as he  
  
reached the doorway of the rec room. The second he entered the room he was met by three pairs of eyes: one dark  
  
green, one lighter green, and one light brown pair; another figure stood off from them all, covered completly by the  
  
hood of the cloak he wore. Jax, he guessed instantly. For some reason he couldn't think of how to tell them what  
  
Rogue said. "Did Rogue send a message?"Kris, he recognized, asked, standing up from where she'd been sitting,  
  
"Is Tara okay?" "She's fine, kid." His sense picks up on an emotion and he stares at Jax. "Why don't the rest of  
  
you go ahead to bed and you can see her in the morning. I wanna talk to you, Jax..." The others looked baffled at  
  
his last words, but stand all except Landon; he stays sitting. A few moments pass before he stands. "I'd rather go  
  
see Tara...." Logan notices the look pass between Jax and Landon before the other boy exist the room; Jax hadn't  
  
moved the entire time. "Something you wanted?"he asked, his voice held a hiss similar to that of a snake, not  
  
moving. Logan moved to stand directly in front of the boy, but saw nothing, except yellow eyes staring at him.  
  
"Why do you feel so guilty?" "I don't feel guilty. I could care less about anyone here,"he snapped, the same hiss  
  
to his words,"I'm only here because they promised to help with my curse." "I thought Xavier taught you to see your  
  
abilities as a gift, not a curse..." "A gift? What would you know about having the 'gift' I have? You know nothing  
  
about what it's like to be me..." Jax's voice is bitter and full of distrust as he moves to shove past Logan and out of  
  
the room; Logan catches his arm, pulling him back. "What makes you so diffrent from the rest of us? We're all  
  
mutants and we've all suffered..." There was silence a moment, before an answer came. "I never said I was diffrent,  
  
but you look normal. I can't even go out in public without this stupid cloak or an image iducer which I refuse to  
  
wear." "Why not?" Logan didn't want to push the boy, but knew that keeping it in was hurting him. "This is why  
  
not...." The hood slid back from his face and showed what was a human boy, but also a snake. Fangs curled over  
  
his lips and most of his face was covered in scales. Logan sensed fear and also the way his heart beat faster; he  
  
remained silent. "Aren't you going to say something? Everyone else has a comment about the Serpent King." Logan  
  
simply shrugs,"Lose the attitude and maybe people would accept you, Serpent King...."  
  
"Marie, how long are you going to stay here?" Bobby's voice was quiet, but held a slight command to it. Rogue  
  
sighed,"Bobby, this is my team. You can't expect me to leave them anymore, then I'd leave you or any of the  
  
others.." "It's not just them. Since Logan's return you've pushed me away and spent what seems like an awful  
  
lot of time avoiding me..." "Avoiding you? We barely see each other as it is....you have nothing to worry about  
  
from Logan...he's just, just, oh, you don't understand." She turned to walk away from him, but he caught her arm  
  
and brought her back. "Marie, what don't I understand?"he asked, his blue(are they blue?)eyes boring into her  
  
brown ones(should be green); she turned her head away. "Part of me will always be his, Bobby...he saved my  
  
life four years ago and yes, I had a crush on him, then. I'm with you now.....Logan has nothing to do with us." The  
  
words sounded, slightly false to her own ears, but she ignored it and smiled. "Mari--" Rogue cut off the rest of his  
  
sentence by leaning up and pressing her mouth against his; she held the kiss and felt him respond, the kiss changed  
  
from gentle to passionate. Over his shoulder she caught sight of Logan watching them and felt a sharp pain there;  
  
his eyes were dark and angry. She broke off the kiss instantly, but he'd already stormed off. Bobby stared at her, his  
  
eyes almost accusing....... 


	5. The Bar Scene

Logan stares blankly at the the pool game going on nearby, taking another drink from the beer he held. His mind kept replaying the scene back at the mansions, hours earlier; Marie and Bobby kissing. "What do you expect? They're engaged.....did you think they didn't touch?" He knew a part of him had, since when he'd left she couldn't control her abilities; somehow she'd learned while he was gone. He'd missed her getting the one thing she'd wanted since he knew it was before he even picked her up; he takes another drink from the beer in front of him and orders another.  
  
"Haven't you had enough?"the man behind the bar, a tall, tattooed, who couldn't have been more then mid 20's, says, not taking his eyes off what he was doing. "I'll tell you when I've had enough. Get me another one." Logan slams his fist against the bar and returns his attention to staring broodingly at the counter; a hand touched his shoulder, resting there lightly. "Logan?" He shrugs off her hand and takes another swallow from the bottle before him. He knew she was there, had known since she walked in. "Logan, can we please talk?" Rogue's voice is louder then normal, mostly to be heard over the noise, but some to make sure he heard.  
  
He scowls,"Nothing's stopping you from talking, darlin'. Can't guarantee I'll listen, but talk away." The man behind the counter gives him his beer and he replaces the first one with that one. She sits beside him and orders a drink before speaking. "I know you saw Bobby and me kiss. I don't see why you had storm out and come here to drink; there's never been anything between us...you saved my life when I was seventeen and a part of me will always be yours because of it, but nothing more.." A part of her was his? What part? The part of her as a scared, untrusting seventeen-year old girl?he wonders, taking another swallow from the beer. The thought angers him and he throws it at the wall behind Rogue; she flinches, but doesn't move otherwise. "Logan, I--"  
  
Logan stands and jerks her to her feet, hard, making her teeth slam together. "You, what? You're sorry? You didn't mean it? What were you going to say, Marie?" She turns her head away for an instant then defiantly looks back at him. "Does it matter what I was going to say? You've already made your decision about what I mean....I'm making mine now. Have fun in hell, Logan." Rogue pulls her arm free and walks out, blinking furiously to hold back tears; she would have suceeded if he hadn't caught up and grabbed her arm. She's forced to stop because of his grip on her arm, but refuses to look at him.  
  
"Marie, I never meant to come back and do this to you. I figured you'd have gotten fed up with waiting and run again, hoped for it other days..." "You wanted me to run?" The words hurt. She closes her eyes, feeling sick now. He sighs,"Not like that. I didn't want to have to face what you'd become. You aren't seventeen and just a scared teenager who trusted someone who cursed or gifted like you. You're a grown woman who's found where she beglongs." Rogue opens her eyes and speaks,"And what are you, Logan?" "A grown man who doesn't know where he came from or why the hell he stays here..."  
  
Rogue stares at him, then pulls her arm away, wrapping them tightly around herself. "So what are we going to do, Logan? You can't keep ruining my relationship with Bobby, but I know yo ucan't just leave..." Logan studies her, thinking, then sighs,"There's only one thing to do." She looks up at him waiting for him to continue. "And?" He leans down and kisses her, hard and deeply; she responds by wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back. He holds her tighter and presses his tongue against her lips. They part almost too willingly for him and he rubs his tongue along the inside of her mouth; she does the same. Neither notices the figure watching silently from the shadows. Her eyes are the only visible part, dark green and angered. She stares silently at them for a minute, then turns. "He'll be sorry he came back............." 


	6. Conversations with Bobby and the Allianc...

~Logan, could you come to my office?~Xavier's voice breaks through Logan's mind and he quickly straightens up, stopping his attack on the punching bag in front of him. ~Something up, X?~ He grabs his jacket and pulls it back on as he heads out and toward the older man's office. There's silence for a moment. ~I'm not sure. I was hoping you could tell me...~ "What did I do now?"Logan mumbles, stopping to watch Marie's team working outside the gym; it looked almost like a game, except for the determination he could see on Jax and Landon's faces; both looked ready to kill. He smiles,"Kinda makes me think of One eye and myself..." ~Logan!~ The command is sharp this time. ~Sorry, coming...~ He forces himself to look away from them and heads on toward Xavier's office.  
  
Logan knocks, hard. "Come in, Logan." He'd never figured out why people knocked since the world's strongest telepath knew who was there, instantly; he opens the door and walks in. "You wanted to see me?" "Close the door and sit down, Logan...."Xavier commands, motining to a chair opposite. Logan obeys, closing the door and taking the chair. The vacant, not quite-here look returns to the professor's eyes as he stares at him, but at the same time not. "Professor?" He shakes his head as if clearing it, then meets Logan's gaze head on. He speaks quietly,"You know what this is about....I presume you do." "Yes....."  
  
Charles nods, slowly. "What you're doing to her isn't fair or right, Logan....even you can't be cruel enough to do that to her..." Logan sighs and drops the formatlities. "Charles, I don't want to hurt Marie, but I....I realized that I love her." Silence remains between the two of them. "Can you honestly do that to her, Logan?"Charles asks. "Yeah, I think I can and that worries me..."  
  
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"Marie, would you just talk to me? I want you to tell me it's not true...." Rogue turns away from Bobby and stares out the window, at her alliance. "Tell you what's not true? That I feel something for Logan? That I didn't go after him when he left? That I did more then just talk to him? What do you want, Bobby?"she demands, forcing her voice to stay the same, despite wanting to cry. She feels his hand rest on her shoulder, then his arms wrap around her waist. "Just tell me that I ever meant anything to you...did I?" Rogue gasps and shoves away from him, turning. "How can you even ask that, Bobby? You were the first person to befriend me when I came to the institute four years ago.....you meant more to me then you know."   
  
Bobby glares at her. "But what does Logan mean to you? Do you love him?" She turns away, but answers,"I don't know, but I can't be fair to you with feelings for him." Rogue stares at her hand a moment, then removes his ring; she stares at it a moment longer, then places it in his hand. "I'm sorry...until I figure out what to do...I can't be with you or Logan...." He stares at her, his blue eyes masked with anger and sadness. "I'm sorry,"she whisphers, leaning up and kissing his cheek, then forces herself to turn and walk away. A single thought comes to mind as she makes her way outside to join her team. Damn you, Logan, damn you.  
  
"Okay, guys, the Professor says that he's not going to give anymore missions to you until Tara's out of the hospital,"she tells them, stopping beside Landon. He looks at her. "And that would be when, Rogue?" "I'm honestly not sure. She got worse hurt then we thought and may be in there for about a month..."   
  
Nanaki glares at her. "So for a month we're inactive? Fuck that, Rogue!" "Language, Creed, language. It wasn't exactly my first choice, but I can't tell Charles 'no, I won't let you inactivate my team'." Rogue looks around the teenagers before her. Kris and Jax were suprisingly quiet, a rare occassion. The two were known for not getting along and almost always in some form of a fight, even if it was nothing. "So for a month we just have to stay here while Bobby's team gets to go out and do god knows what?"Landon demands, glaring at her for a moment before storming off past her and toward the medlab. "Landon!"   
  
Jax speaks up,"Leave him alone, Rogue. He still hasn't dealt with Tara's being hurt." Nanaki and Rogue both look at him, suprised. "How would you know, Jax? You two hate each other last time I knew anything,"Nanaki says, watching him. He hisses,"It's none of your concern. I just know some things that others don't. Alot of things...." Rogue wanted to ask what he meant, but he turns and walks away after saying a single phrase. "Things even you won't admit....." 


	7. Drunk Guilt

Thanks to everyone who reviewed.  
  
Anything but Ordinary3: what's your suggestion for a new person for Bobby? Re-read the bar scene and I think you'd change the idea of who you think it is.  
  
Toward the end of this chapter I'm going to expand a little on the alliance namely through Landon's point of view. This will also help understand a bit on what happened to Tara and some other clues about the alliance Rogue runs.  
  
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Rogue stares, blankly, at the rain falling outside and takes another drink from the glass in front of her. It was the fifth one she'd had in the last three hours or was it two? She shrugs. "What's it matter? Not like I really wanna go up to my room and sleep....probaly couldn't if I tried." She refills the glass and takes another drink; her gaze returns to staring, blankly out the window. "Getting drunk isn't going to help, child." The voice comes from the door, but she barely looks up. "Go away, Ororo. I don't need your guidance,"she scowls, downing the entire contents of the glass and making another. Storm walks in and takes the bottle of alcohol before sitting down beside her.   
  
"Marie, child, what's wrong? You've barely touched any alchol in the last four years and now you're drinking like a fish." She places her hand on the girl's arm, stopping her from taking another drink; Rogue looks up at her a moment. She's silent for a moment, then breaks down crying. "I...can't..de..deal...with..." She breaks off the sentence and buries her head in her arms, crying. Storm sighs and strokes her hair. "It's okay, child. Just tell me what's wrong..." For almost an hour they sit that way silently until Rogue's tears stop and she lifts her head from the table; she wipes the tears from her eyes. "Want to tell me what's wrong now?" She's silent for a moment, then downs the glass of vodka. "It's Logan and Bobby..."she mumbles, staring at her empty glass. She's silent a moment, then holds up her now bare hand to show where Bobby's ring used to sit.   
  
"Oh, Marie, what happened?"Storm questions, placing her hand on Rogue's arm. She says, quietly,"I gave Bobby back his ring. I can't be his fiancee or his wife when I feel anything for Logan. It's not just hero worship like I passed it off as a teenager, Ororo." "So you ended things with Bobby until you've figured out things with Logan?" She nods. "I even moved back into my old room...it's so cold at night without him, though....what am I suppoused to do? I don't want to hurt Bobby, but I can't deny that I.....I love Logan,"the words are spoken seconds before she breaks down sobbing. Storm doesn't move, but simply returns to stroking the girl's hair and back. "It's okay to be confused...have you tried talking to Logan?" "Once after he saw Bobby and I kiss. He went to a bar and I followed him..."she says, staring down as if ashamed; her cheeks were crimson colored. Storm presses gently,"And what happened?" "I told him to have fun in hell, then he....uh, kissed me..." Her face darkens even more, though she's still staring down at her empty glass.   
  
"I'm going to give you the most important advice you will ever get, okay?" Rogue nods to show she's listening. "Speak to Logan, child. You two need to talk and no more drinking....." "Yes, Ms. Munroe,"she replies, feeling like a scolded child suddenly,"I'll go talk to him..." She stands, dumping the glass in the sink; it shatters and Rogue cringes. "Sorry..." Storm sighs,"Just go, child." She obeys, hastily exiting the room and walking to Logan's room. It was close to midnight so she figured he'd been in his room; she walks slowly there, stopping at the door. She knocks, but doesn't get an answer so she turns the knob and walks in.  
  
"Logan?"she asks, quietly, stepping into the room completly and hesitating just inside the door. He gives no reply so she closes the door, somewhat hesitant and walks over to his bed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Logan?" She waits a moment, then hisses louder,"Logan!" He bolts up, blades unsheathedt; Rogue stands, taking a step back. "Logan?" "Ki--Marie, what are you doing in here?"he demands, glaring at her; she sighs. "I needed to talk to you, Logan and it's taken awhile to get up the courage and..the uh, level of alchol to do it; we need to talk about you...or rather us...."  
  
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Landon stares at the cigarette he holds, then takes another drag off it. He didn't like the taste of smoke, but had picked up the habit last year. "Figures. Yet another bad habit that I can't drop,"he mumbles, taking one last drag before dropping it to the ground and crushing it. His eyes were trained on the window of the medlab and his mind was focused on Tara. Landon sighs and lights a second cigarette; technically speaking he had six months until he was the legal smoking age. "Screw it...I have alot to think about it..." I wonder how much longer before Tara's released from the medlab. I could care less about the missions, but I hate feeling guilty. Maybe I'd be better without emotions again.   
  
He takes drag off the cigarette and blinks a few times to clear the smoke from his eyes. Everyone had said it wasn't his fault, but how did he get over feeling guilty about almost killing his best friend? "Once again you've destroyed someone's life, Landon. Jax would have a field day with this one,"he mumbles. He'd thought it was for the best to send her inside while he and Kris watched outside for guards. "Maybe I should have listened and switched them, but I thought it was right at first..how was I suppoused to know the building would explode if you destroyed the information?" "You couldn't have known..." Landon looks up at the voice, then back down, taking another drag,"Go away, Jax."   
  
Jax ignores him as he normally does and comes out from the shadows of a nearby tree. He had a guess of what the older boy had been doing, but didn't mention it. Who wanted to discuss a snake's eating habits? "I'm not here to judge you. You can't spend every minute blaming yourself and feeling guilty...it just hurts you more." All traces of the normal angry hiss in Jax's voice were gone; Landon looks at him. "How do you even know? Only person you've ever cared about is yourself.....why don't you just leave me in peace?"he scowls, flicking the cigarette at his teammate; Jax simply steps out of the way and studies him, yellow eyes shimmering.   
  
He spoke softly after a moment,"I've seen it before I became this and after. You want a perfect example of what guilt does to you?" Landon regards him silently after shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "Ask Rogue. She understands more then I ever will, but I'm not as much of a bastard as you think....sometimes it's not as simple as one,two,three, Landon..." Jax stands there only a moment longer before turning and walking toward the mansion. Landon catches his last phrase that was more of hiss then anything else he'd ever said. "Sometimes to fix things you have to destroy something else......something just as important..." "Maybe he knows more then we give him credit for...somehow I don't think that comment was meant completly for me." 


	8. Talking in the Dark

"Couldn't it wait, Marie? It's after midnight...." Logan sheathes his blades quickly and motions for her to sit, since he knew she wouldn't leave any way short of him kicking her out. Her expressions darkens. "It ain't quite midnight. Didn't you understand my sentence? Alot of courage and a sufficient alcohol level!" "Darlin, you don't drink,"he says, leaning back against the headboard as she sits down on the edge of his bed, twisting a strand of white around her finger; he stops the motion by pinning her hand to the bed. Marie sighs,"Correction....I didn't. I couldn't focus so I drank some....it's not that much, but Ms. Munroe forbid me to drink anymore..." Logan sighs and waits for her to continue. After a few moments she does.   
  
"It's just....I can't deal with everything going on with you and Bobby and I needed a drink, okay?"she demands, glowering at him; her expression and voice were very unlike his Marie. He simply studies her. "Marie, what's wrong? What do you and Bobby have to do with me? You chose him and I'm alone....."he says, shrugging and crossing his arms. She was silent for all of a moment, then punches him; Logan catches her wrist, though she did barely any damage to him beside winding him. "What was that?....what's wrong, darlin?"he questions, gripping her wrist, tightly. She continues to glare for a moment, silently, then pulls back. "I broke the engagement...."Rogue whisphers, holding up her hand for him to see; he takes it and studies the place where Bobby's ring had once been..  
  
"Marie, what does this have to do with me? It's your decision if you want to break up with him, not mine.....last time we talked you told me to have fun in hell,"Logan says, watching her as her angry facade falls, almost instantly. She sighs,"Don't you get it, Logan? I'm in love with you, not him!" He stares at her not comprehending the words. The hesitation on his part was enough for her to get up and walk to the door. "I knew this was a mistake...I was stupid to think it or I meant anything to you,"she says, her voice quieted to hide the emotion he could already sense from her.   
  
Logan realizes his mistake and gets up, catching her arm before she can walk out the door. "Marie, wait. I'm sorry.....You do mean something to me, but you can't love me. I'm old enough to be your father and you always said it was just a teenage crush..." He glares down at her, ignoring the tears that were threatening to fall, but after a moment wraps his arms around her and hugs her. "Don't cry...you said it not me." She leans against him, crying for some time, then finally pushes away from him. "So it wasn't a mistake to come to you?"she questions, sounding seventeen again instead of her twenty years,"You're not mad?"   
  
"Of course not, darlin'. Why don't you come lay down?"he offers, leading her back over to his bed and returning to his previous position. Rogue hesitates, biting her lip, hard. "I don't know, Logan....what if someone comes in?"she asks, hesitately, watching him. He sighs,"Would it be that bad?" She shakes her head wordlessly and removes her shoes before climbing into bed beside him; she adjusts her position so she was laying with her head resting against one of his arms. "Comfortable?"Logan questions, putting one arm around her to hold her there and looking down at her. His only answer is a nod as she yawns, then closes her eyes; her position never moving from beside his body. "Night, Marie,"he tells her quietly, staring up at the ceiling until he felt her breathing turn quieter and knew she was asleep......  
  
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Landon stares at the door for a full ten minutes before finally entering the MedLab and walking over to the table. He knew Rogue wasn't in there since he'd last seen her in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a glass; he didn't have to guess what she would be doing for the next few hours. "At least I'm not the only one who's life is hell,"he scowls, walking over to Tara's bed and sitting down in the chair beside it. He wasn't sure why that suprised him..Kris and Nanaki had probaly visited, Rogue, too. Tara was sound asleep and looked peaceful for the first time since he'd met her two years ago; she was more beautiful when she yelling at him though.   
  
"Can you hear any of this?"Landon questions, resting his hand beside her head,"If you can. I'm sorry..I know I've never been good at saying it; probaly never will say it again once you're okay. It's my fault you got hurt, but I'm not blaming someone else this time like before with my sister(to understand this it's best to have read Landon's Run-no other revelance to plot)...." She doesn't move or give any indicator that she even heard him; her eyes remain closed and her breathing even. He sighs and plays with her hand, waiting for something obviously. "I thought my decision was right, but once again Landon Keller screwed up...don't you want to say I told you so, Tara?"he asks, continuing to hold her hand in his,"You always said without using that many words or being so blunt...I think I'm going to leave again. Already ruined your life and possibly others..I should leave before I get too far into wrecking lives..."  
  
Tara turns onto her side, now facing him, but still asleep. "I'll come back. Maybe before your life's over, maybe not....Guess it is part of what I learned when I was a child. Don't love anyone and you don't get hurt. Nice job, Dad,"Landon says, quietly, leaning down and kisses her lips; they curve into a smile as he straightens watching her. His mind returns to the first time he'd met her and their mutal dislike of each other. He kisses her once more, then turns and walks out, leaving the home he'd known for almost eighteen months and the person he loved more then anything. "Good-bye, Tara.....I'll always love you and never forget you..." 


	9. Almost A Family Reunion

Xavier lifts his head as the door to his study opens and smiles at two of his first students. "Hello, Jean, Scott. Are you back to stay or is this a visit?"he asks, motioning for them to sit down. He remains silent as Scott forces Jean to sit down with a gentle pressure on her arm. Scott smiles, almost sadly. "Good morning, Professor....your last letter said you had news on Logan? What is it?" Jean looks up from staring down at her hands which rested in her lap; Xavier turns his attention fully to his older student, feeling sad at seeing his once beautiful, outgoing Jean this way. He shakes his head. "Give it a moment...." Just as he finishes the words a knock comes at the door.   
  
"Come in, Logan." Scott turns, his face quickly masking a look of shock,"Logan?" Xavier watches his reaction as Logan enters the room with an apparantly still half-asleep Rogue. "Oh, hello, Marie, child. I didn't think you'd be with him.."he apologizes, taking in the fact that her eyes were slightly red and she was shoeless; he knew what had happened, but decided not to bring it up. Logan's expression, unlike Scott's doesn't change at all as he surveyes the other former X -Men. "Well about time you came back, One-Eye. I think there's something I owe you....."Logan says, holding out one hand; Scott shakes it, slowly. "What would that be, Logan?" Xavier shifts his attention briefly to Rogue who'd moved to sit beside Jean, then returns it to the two men. "This.." He removes a key and tosses it to the other man. Scott just stares at it. "It still runs?" He shrugs,"Barely...so how've things been? Hey, Jean."  
  
Xavier notices her nod, briefly before turning back to Rogue. The younger woman was talking about something that had brought a half smile to her face and moving her hands as if to emphasize something. He also noticed the ring was gone from Rogue's finger, but didn't comment as he knew what had happened. As if on cue a second knock came at the door. He nods, knowing who it would be. Bobby enters a few moments later. "Good Morning, Professor. Hello, Mr. Summers, Mrs. Summers, Logan,"he says; his voice was colder on the last greeting.  
  
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Rogue tenses as Bobby enters the room. She'd been in the middle of telling Jean about her alliance's progress when he'd entered. Does he still hate me?she wonders, trying to meet his gaze. He pointedly avoids it and shakes Scott's hand. "Something wrong, Marie?"Jean questions, placing her hand on her arm, then immediatly pulling it back as if burned. She shakes her head,"No....Might be better if I go check on Tara. She's still in the medlab....I'm so glad you and Scott are back, even if it's not permanent." Rogue wraps her arms around her former teacher, but doesn't get much of a reaction so she stands. "Mr. Summers?' "Marie, Bobby, both of you stop with the Mr. Summers...Just use Scott." She smiles, apologetically,"Sorry, Scott. I was just going to say that yours and Jean's room is still avaliable if you want it...I wish you'd come by and check out my alliance sometime. Bobby's, too." Bobby waves his hand, dismissvly. "Don't bother, Scott. I'm not sure I'll continue to run mine for much longer....." Rogue starts say something, but stops as Logan looks between the two of them.   
  
"I have to go check on Tara in medlab. There's a training session later today....I'll see you later, Logan, Bobby. Nice of you to return, Jean, Scott,"her statement is direct and to the point so none of them would hear the bitterness or sadness in her remark. She walks out before anyone could say anything to her. Xavier speaks to her, mentally. ~Marie, you may have a bigger problem then Bobby's feelings...~ ~What would that be, Professor? Do I have six months to live?~she jokes, cynically, walking toward the medlab. His voice is weary when he answers. ~Landon's left again...it was sometime during the night, but I didn't want to wake you...you seemed at peace.~ She stops in mid-step. ~Landon left? That has to be a mistake...where would he go? He has no except us and Tara....~ ~I wish it were, child, but he left. Tara's beginning to wake up from her coma. You should the one to tell her.~ Rogue shakes her head, returning to her normal pace as she walks toward the medlab.   
  
She puts up her mental shield as she enters to door, blocking Xavier or anyone else from seeing anything going on with Tara. The girl was completly awake and looked just as she had before. "Back with the living, Tara?"Rogue questions, settling into the chair beside her and smiling at her. She smiles, weakly. "I wouldn't call it living. Hurts like hell, Rogue..how long?" She laughs at Tara's choice of words. "I'm sure. Not sure....maybe a week or so. Something like that. How do you feel?" "Hurts like hell...where are the others? I figured at least Landon will be here,"Tara says, looking around as if confused by her surroundings. Rogue sighs,"Nanaki and Jax are sulking about missions and Kris' had a family problem. She's taking a vacation and Landon's...away at the moment. They've been worried. Toad dropped by to check on you." She throws the words in to draw attention away from Landon's absent. "Figures...what'd he want? You better have told him I was fine..." "Of course...you need rest so I'm going to go inform the others of your status, okay?" Tara nods,"Fine...when you see Landon send him down here. I know he feels guilty as hell." Rogue nods. You have no idea.  
  
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Rogue closes her eyes and leans against the wall of the institute. She holds them tightly shut, mentally cursing Xavier for not waking her, herself for not knowing something was wrong, and Landon for leaving. There was a very small chance of them keeping Tara mutant normal without him there; she again cursed him, giving him a view names. "Somethin' wrong, darlin?"the voice asks, quietly from beside her. She doesn't bother to open her eyes, but speaks to him. "More like what isn't wrong,"she scowls, rubbing her temples. "What's wrong? It can't be that bad about Jean and Scott's return.....I thought you'd been wanting them to return, Marie?" She sighs,"I did, I do. It ain't got nuthin' to do with their return, okay? Just drop it." Rogue pushes herself away from the wall and begins to walk along the grounds toward the lake. The move doesn't deter him and he catches up, then falls into step with her.   
  
"So it ain't over the Summers' family return. What is it? The kid from your alliance worse of something?" She laughs. "Tara? No, she's out of the coma and talking...more then before. Landon decided to leave." Logan shrugs. "So what's the big deal?"he asks, walking past her at the suddeness of her stop. She turns and glares at him. "Here's the "big deal", Mr.I-Know-Everything-But-Have-Only-Been-Back-A-Short-Time, Tara's only reason for coming here is because Landon was here. Without him she leaves and probaly tracks him down with not so pleasant intentions....You lose one, you lose both, but you wouldnt' understand that, would you, Logan?"she growls, her voice almost a perfect imitation of his own. "You know I like you even better when you're like this,"he tells her, pressing her back against one of the nearby trees and kissing her, hard. Rogue shoves her hands against his chest for a moment, then returns his kiss, pressing her tongue into his mouth.   
  
Logan continues to kiss her there, but after a moment she shoves him away. "Don't distract me! I have more important things to think about then you and um....your unthink aboutable lips!" "What kind of a word is that? Unthikaboutable?" "It was improvised, Logan! Will you please do me one favor and shut up?"she demands, beginning to walk away again, but now toward the garage. "Where the hell are you going, Rogue?"he yells, using the first name she'd given him as he watches her walk away. She hollers back a response,"I have someone to find and I need transportation...." "Don't you dare." Rogue smiles sweetly, blow him a kiss, then runs off toward the garage. 


	10. Mixed Emotions

"Do you have even the slightest idea how we're suppoused to find this kid of yours?"Logan demands, glowering at Rogue as she scans the streets around them,"Why would he be in this part of town anyway?" She ignores him for a moment, then answers after a few moments. "New or old Brotherhood Hideout...take your pick, Logan." "Didn't we kill them at the....uh..statue of Liberty?" "No, dear, they've been back about two and a half years. Their new place is around here or old place whichever. They were here before Tara and Landon came to us,"she explains slowly as if speaking to a child. Logan glares at her and inspects the bike to make sure she hadn't broken or damaged anything; she hadn't, which annoys him further. "You said London left for a reason. Why would he go back?" "His name's Landon, Logan. A not O and he did...If you're desperate, you'll go back." The last words are spoken more to herself, then him. Logan feels a light pang of guilt. He stares at her a moment, watching her scan the crowd as if looking for something specific. He speaks to her back since she wasn't looking at him and probaly wouldn't for awhile. "I didn't come back because I was desperate, Marie..."  
  
"Never said you did. Quit talking and come on...I know where he'll be,"Rogue calls back to him already beginning to walk away and toward some very seedy bar-like place. Logan shakes his head. I swear if I weren't around she'd get herself killed. He reluctantly follows her into the bar, keeping a close eye on her; several of the male occupants whistle or look at her. He puts an end to this with a single glare toward the table that was doing the most to antagonize her; none of it seems to be bothering Rogue. Logan moves so that his mouth presses against her ear. "How often do you come here?" "Not often enough,"she replies, stopping at the bar,"Get me Mortimer now." Her command is short and spoken to the blonde-haired guy behind the bar. The guy simply looks her up and down, then shrugs. "And you would be?" "Tell him it's about Nanaki...he'll come,"Rogue replies, leaning over the counter just enough to give him a slight view of her clevage. The blonde smirks, says something to someone else, then vanishes through a door at the back.   
  
Logan scowls and grips her arm, turning her back to face him. "What is with your little display just then?"he demands, glaring down at her. She shrugs, drawing his attention to her bare shoulder; he curbs the urge to do something about it. He sweeps his gaze from head to foot on her. She'd changed into jeans and a gray long-sleeved shirt that fell off her shoulders and fit much too well for his liking. "This how you get all your information?" "Could be. Not that you would know now would you, Logan?" Her smiles turns into a cold smirk. Logan growls and pins her back against the bar. "Keep those comments up and I'm going to show you how much I know,"he growls, giving into the urge to taste her shoulder. Someone clears their throat behind them and he stop and releases her as they face the person who'd coughed. Toad stood before them. There was barely a diffrence in the person they'd fought and "killed" four years earlier, except that his gaze was appreciative as it swept over Rogue. "About time, Toad." Logan growls again. "Heel your dog, girl. What's this about Nanaki? Something wrong?"  
  
Rogue shakes her head. "Nah, but it got your ass out here didn't it. Where's Landon?" "Who?"Toad questions, feigning innocence at the name. "Stop playing dumb, Toad. You know who Landon is...he around?" "How would I know? I could care less if he was dead....Landon's a prick anyw--"the rest of his sentence is cut off as Logan grabs the front of his shirt and shoves his blades against Toad's throat. "Where's the kid, Toad?"he demands, pressing the blades in just enough to draw light blood. Rogue hisses behind him. "Logan, knock it off..." "Heel your mutt and I'll tell you.." "Let him go, Logan." He releases Toad and steps back, returning his blades into his hand. Toad rubs his throat and scowls. "I'm only telling because I'm sick of his attitude and because you're disturbing my customers.....You know where the place. He's probaly on the roof sulking. Saber gave him an ass kicking as a welcome home present. Now get out." Rogue smiles sweetly,"With pleasure, Toad."  
  
Logan watches as she turns on her heel and walks out, without a backward glance; he follows her. Maybe kid's got more guts then I give her credit for. Hell of a way to get information. "You coming or not?" "Coming...."  
  
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"Are you about ready, Jean? Charles is expecting us...." Scott knocks lightly on the door of the bathroom, waiting for his wife. There's silence from the other end. "Jean, are you okay? Jean!" He slams his fist against the door several times. It opens and she steps into their room; her eyes are slightly more alive then before. "Yes, Scott?" "Charles is expecting us. You ready to go down to dinner?"he questions, brushing a stray strand of red hair behind her ear. Jean simply nods, drawing his attention to the jeweled earrings in her ears and the plain jeans and blue sweater she wore. Scott smiles, realizing how much she resembled the Jean he'd fallen in love with. He leans down and kisses her, gently. She stands still within his kiss and he gives up after a moment. Sometimes she responded, sometimes she ignored him.   
  
"Ready to go?"Scott questions, putting one arm around her as he opens the door. She nods and allows him to lead her out into the hall. Scott sighs, remembering the expression in Logan's eyes when they'd spoken in the study. There'd been the usual arrogance, but also guilt(he knew even if Logan would never admit it) and anguish. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it, he thinks, continuing to lead Jean toward the kitchen where they'd eat. Voices from another room, a nearby one, draw his attention and he stops walking. "It doesn't make since, though, Remus,"a female voice says seconds before the sound of something slamming into the floor and a muffled groan come,"Sorry." "It's okay, Kristal...you're not meant to understand everything or this would be a hell of a world or at least that's what Bobby says,"a second voice replies. There's silence for a few moments, then only the sound of heavy breathing as if someone had been doing something stimulatingly physical. Or someone, Scott thinks, but quickly pushes the thought away at the next words. Jean had simply begun to stare off down the hall. "Bobby said Rogue was never really his to begin with...she always belonged to Logan or at least some part of her..." There's quiet laughter from the first person, Kristal, the other had called her.   
  
"Scott, I thought we were going to dinner?"Jean questions, sounding almost normal as she pulls on his sleeve. She'd often done it before they'd lost the baby when she wanted him to stop something or was uncomfortable. Scott smiles. "We are, dear. Let's go...I was just thinking,"he lies, taking her arm once again and leading her to the kitchen. She follows like a child, without a word. Xavier greets them instantly. "Scott, Jean, have a seat..." Scott helps his wife to sit, then takes his own seat beside her. "Where are Logan, Ororo, and Rogue?" He scans the table and realizes they were alone. Xavier sighs,"Logan's helping Rogue with one of her alliance members' who's run off and Ororo's already eaten. She was down here earlier, but retired to her bedroom....were you wanting to speak with either of them?" Scott shakes his head and looks up from his food; he suddenly wasn't all that hungry. He notices Charles' eyes keep going to Jean, silently eating her food. There was a hint of worry and also what appears to be....fear? Why would he be afraid of Jean? ~I'm not afraid of her, Scott. I'm afraid for her.~ 


	11. Try to Understand

Scott listens to the quiet, even breathing of his wife before slipping from the bed and dressing quickly. He opens the door a little, then farther as Jean simply turns over in their bed; he walks out before he changes his mind and pulls the door closed. He walks toward the office that he'd almost forgotten where it was located, but finds the route no diffrent from four years ago. Has it really been that long?he wonders, knocking carefully on the door. "Come in, Scott..." He opens the door and steps in, closing the door behind him. Xavier doesn't look away from the window he was staring out. His voice is tired and more that of an old man, then it's old casual self when he next speaks. "You asked me earlier why I was afraid for Jean...I couldn't answer there, but I'll answer now....." Scott moves to stand at his side and looks out over the shadowed grounds. "I thought Jean couldn't red your thoughts, Professor? Has something changed?" "It was not my thought's, Scott, but rather yours. You have a right to know.."   
  
"Know what?"he questions, scanning the outer edge of the mansion grounds; Xavier seems to be looking at something and he tries to see it, too. This fails. "Something's changing in her, Scott. She's barely there at all and I can no longer sense her like I can the others...." "Isn't it possible that she can control her thoughts to block them from you? You learned it...why are you worried?" Xavier turns away aburptly. "It's the way with which she's done it. It's almost as if she's pushing everyone away." Scott sighs,"She's been doing that since we lost the baby. There's no diffrence in her behavior then and her behavior now. Is there?" "Actually there is, Scott. The thing that troubles me is the few feelings I can get from her aren't good...something's wrong with her and I don't want to see her hurt anymore then you do,"Xavier explains, steepling his hands together. Scott scowls and walks to the door. "If something was wrong I'd know. I'd know if she was in danger or if something was wrong. I'd know! Not you, not Logan, not anyone..." "Scott.." His words fall on deaf ears as Scott slams the door and something crashes to the floor inside the office. Xavier closes his eyes. "Oh, my children..."  
  
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"Very good, Scott. You would know if something was wrong, wouldn't you?" She stares at the wall listening to the thoughts of the many mansion residents. Scott's were easiest to pick up. It's not true. I'd know if something was wrong with Jean or if something was bothering her. She laughs quietly,"No, you wouldn't, dear husband." She returns to listening to the thoughts of others. Several minds were all thinking of one person-Landon. I wonder... She scans the mind of the first person she'd sensed with the thoughts. The memories weren't pleasant. They began with being part of a circus as a child, being hurt, joining the brotherhood, meeting this Landon, changing to the x-men, and the last most vivid one she found was of an explosion, then emptiness again. "An interesting child, Marie,"she says aloud, refusing to acknowledge the girl, no, woman's codename,"She may prove useful." She scans the others thoughts another member was angry and taking her anger out on training while the others seem either content or asleep. There wasn't anything from Marie and Logan within the mansion. "It won't be long, Marie. Not long at all.."  
  
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"It's not polite to stare, Rogue. You could just speak." Landon takes a drag off the cigarette balancing between two fingers without looking at her. "I was biding my time, Landon. Why'd you leave again?" He listens and recognizes two foot falls instead of just one; he tenses, noticing the second was heavier. He shrugs. "Did you come to tell me Tara's worse or has she died?" A sharp breathe comes from Rogue's company. "Damn, kid's saddistic..." "I am not,"Landon scowls, flicking the cigarette butt at the man with her over his shoulder. He only knew him as Logan, but didn't like him already. "Logan, shut up. Landon, she's not worse or dead....she's out of the coma and wanted you. It's taken this long to find you." "Ain't gone nowhere except here since Vik's welcome home present...hurt like hell waiting for things to heal. Did you know if you break your arm in three places it takes five hours to heal?"he questions, turning and allowing the two to see the limp way his left arm hangs. Rogue steps forward and touches it, drawing a hiss of breathe from him. "It didn't heal? Why didn't you set it?"  
  
Landon laughs. "Have you ever tried to set your own arm when it's broken? It's not easy and before you ask..I can't go back, Rogue. Not now..." "Why not? It seems like this kid really wants you back,"Logan replies, shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket as a breeze blows up. He shakes his head. "You don't get it, Logan. I've ruined her life twice, once with the brotherhood and now with our alliance. I destroyed my only remaining family three years ago and I have to live with being a screw-up who does nothing right....You don't understand about needing to leave." Rogue shakes her head. "I think this is over my head. I'm going to wait over there..." She points toward a vacant shadowed spot on the roof and walks to it, looking down at the ground. She's abandoning me with this guy? Now I know I'm in trouble...maybe this time I'll actually get to die. Landon lights a second cigarette and replaces it in his mouth, taking a drag from it. Logan studies him silent, then moves up to stand beside him.   
  
"Don't understand about needing to leave? Kid, I invented the term. I've been leaving since I became...this, a mutant. Before that I left. Leaving your problems doesn't do any good kid. It makes them worse and it's better to deal with it head-on rather then wait four years and come back." "Is that why you left before? You couldn't deal with things head-on so you're trying to fix your mistakes through a screwed-up mutant?"he questions, drawing another drag from the cigarette and blowing out smoke. It circles around his head and he looks up at it. Logan growls. "I ain't trying to fix no mistake, Landon. This is a once in a lifetime thing. My advice. Take it or leave it....you have a hell of a thing going at that institute and you know it,"he says, moving off toward Rogue,"Let's go, Marie. Kid's got a decision to make." Landon watches her, silently, as the two walk away from him and back in the direction he guessed the institute was. He doesn't move.  
  
"What if he doesn't come back, Logan?" Logan recognizes the slight tremor in her voice and stops, putting his arm around her. "I think he will....if he doesn't he's no better then me.." Rogue laughs and buries her face against his shoulder, forgetting for a moment that they were in the middle of town, late at night, after a night spent searching for an eighteen-year-old mutant. In her mind they were just two people sharing a moment, a moment that hadn't happened for four years. "You're not as bad as you or anyone else thinks, Logan,"she whisphers, not moving her head from his shoulder,"I know now why you abandoned me...us...everything. You needed to, but I need you now and you're here." Logan tightens his arms around her, instinctivly. I need you, too, Marie. More then you know....  
  
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Will Landon ever return to the X-men or is he no better then Logan? What's going on with Scott and Jean? Any idea who the mysterious woman is? If you don't know now you will have to face the horror of my stopping the updates.....THE HORROR. 


	12. The Morning After

"Good morning, Marie." The greeting startles Rogue and she turns, spilling coffee across the counter and burning her hand. She brings the burned hand to her mouth. "Fuck..dammnit, Scott, don't sneak up on me!"she growls quickly turning on the water and putting her hand under it. She hisses at the slight pain and glares at him. "Sorry...I didn't realize you were so tense in the morning. What time did you and Logan return?"he questions, fixing himself a cup of coffee and adding a very low amount of milk and sugar to it. Rogue shrugs. "Not sure. It was late...I'm sorry we missed dinner with you and Jean last night, but it was important." She regretted lying instantly. Truth was she didn't want to face her x-teachers and the vacant, hurt look that was always present with Jean. Scott waves his hand dismissivly and takes a drink of his coffee. "It's fine. I know it's kind of difficult dealing with Jean's moods. It takes some getting used to." Rogue lets that statment stand and begins cleaning up the spilt coffee after drying off her hand. "Di--" "Is there some more coffee?" Rogue nods in response to Ororo and returns the rag to the sink and getting her breakfast from the toaster. "There is, Mr--, Ororo,"she says, gathering up her food and making a quick exit.  
  
Rogue retreats upstairs and to the bedrooms where the younger alliance members slept. She stops outside Landon's door and knocks, waiting for an answer. Some part of her felt disappointed when there was no answer. A small part. What did you expect, Rogue? Landon was any better then Logan?she wonders opening the door and walking in any way. She stands in the doorway, staring into the dark depths of the room. She'd never entered one of her students' rooms until now. Their room and their activities there were not her concern after training and mission hours, usually. "Why'd you have to leave, Landon?"Rogue questions the room as she takes a bite of the toast in her hand,"You didn't screw up her life that bad." "That's not the best habit to get, Marie." Logan's voice comes from directly behind her, but she doesn't turn around to look at him. She looks vacantly around the room, taking another bite without a word. "Talking to yourself can't be healthy,"he tells her as he comes up beside her, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. She shrugs. "So what else is new? I also have an unhealthy habit of waiting for you or is that a good habit?"   
  
Rogue takes another sip from her coffee and tosses the leftover piece of toast into the nearby waste basket. Logan shrugs, taking another drink. "Your decision, darlin'. Good or bad?" "Maybe both, maybe neither. Have you seen Scott this morning? He looks like hell...haven't seen Jean yet." Great job. Whenever the subject of this relationship comes up you switch the subject. ~Marie, you need to relax.~ ~Get out of my head, Charles.~she commands, placing her hands against the sides of her head. Logan looks at her concerned. "Something wrong, darlin?" She forces a smile. "Of course not...I was just wondering how to tell Tara he won't be back." "Try honesty or you could lie and feed her some bullshit about his eventually returning,"he says before moving past her out of the room again,"I don't recommend telling her you followed him and all but begged his return." Rogue glowers at him. "Fuck you, Logan....get out of here...."  
  
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"Jean, are you feeling alright?" Jean smiles out the window as she overlooks the grounds. "Yes, Charles. I feel fine..." "I was just wondering because you seem intent on something outside the window,"Xavier says wheeling himself over to rest beside her. He looks out over the grounds with her, but sees nothing except for Logan working on something. He ignores it and tries to read some thought from Jean. There's nothing. "It's a waste, Charles. You won't get anything..." Her voice is almost a whispher as she speaks and it's slightly hoarse as if she's been yelling or had just woken up. "How did you know what I was doing, Jean?" Jean taps her head. "Here...there's a door I've created to protect myself from the memories. I can feel when someone touches it. You did and I locked it....the contents of that room don't concern you or anyone else."   
  
Xavier sighs. "Jean, my child, what has happened to you?" "It doesn't matter, Professor...That time's over and won't return. I think I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head. Let Scott know I'm outside." She doesn't bother to wait for his answer, but simply turns and walks out of the room. That went well. Now I've got Charles worried...I'll have to remedy that. Jean rubs her head, unrealizing with the palm of her left hand. Her head hurt from the strain of keeping the door closed and locked against someone as strong as Charles. "I'll just have to make sure that he can't get past the door,"she mumbles, opening the door and walking outside; she shades her eyes,"Ever." Jean scans the yard a little while, then walks to the garage and leans against the nearby table, watching Logan work. He stiffens seconds after she comes in. "Afternoon, Jean. If you're looking for Scott he ain't around here.."he announces with only the barest glance up from his work.   
  
"Wasn't exp---Oh, he's not?"she switches her statement quickly realizing that one wouldn't fit right with her "state of mind." Logan straightens wiping his hands. "No, Jean, he's not. Marie saw him earlier in the kitchen....said something about he startled her and she burned her hand with coffee. Did you need something specific from him?" "No, not from him..." She masks the thought that comes to her mind just to be sure no one else was listening and that she wasn't projecting. Logan shrugs,"Right. How are you feeling?" His words sound almost as if he was only looking for conversation topics. He probaly was, no one treated her the same since losing the baby. She sighs mentally and rubs her arms, suddenly feeling cold. "I've felt better... Do you know where Ororo is? I've been meaning to speak to her..." "Not at the moment. Is there something specific you need? Maybe Marie can help.." She shakes her head quickly. "No, no one can help me with this....except maybe you." Logan shrugs. "Maybe. Tell me what you need....." 


	13. Buttons and Chains

Rogue listens for the sound of Logan's feet in the hall and only exits the room when she's sure they're not within the mansion. She walks outside, slowly and makes her way down the hall toward the med bay. She wasn't in the mood to talk to him or anyone else at the moment. It was already going to be hell being the one to tell Tara that Landon was gone. "And you get the joy of doing it, Marie, aren't we lucky?"she mutters to herself as she walks down the hall, glaring down at the carpeting. "Talking to yourself now, huh? Something you picked up from Logan?" Rogue sighs,"Not now, Bobby. Please, not now." She doesn't look up from the carpet even when he falls into step beside her. His voice has lost it's coldness when he speaks next. "Has something happened, Marie?" She continues walking but looks at him. "Define something...." "Anything. You don't seem like yourself...something's just...off." Rogue combs her fingers through her hair once, a habit she'd picked up from somewhere. "Landon left...I'm the one who gets to tell Tara that he won't be back. How would you feel?"  
  
"Don't know. I've never had that decision to make...my alliance barely know each, but are learning to trust. Now yours is a diffrent story. At least they know how to get each other hurt 'without meaning it'....kind of like you, huh?"Bobby asks, the bitterness back in his voice. Before she can stop the move she turns and slaps him hard across the face. Tears come to her eyes once she realizes what she's done and she turns, walking away as she blinks the tears from her eyes. She hears him call her name, but ignores it and hurries off, stopping a little ways off from the medlab door. Rogue blinks until the tears vanish, then realizes there's voices coming from the room. "It's not my problem that you can't even figure out how to play a simple game." "Shut up, Kris. Who actually knows how to play a game called 'Spoons?' " I guess Kris and Jax came to visit her, but Jax has never been that friendly and typically calls Kris by her full name. Rogue pushes open the door and walks in.   
  
"I can hear you guys from halfway down the hall,"she announces as she enters the room and walks over to the bed. Landon looks up at her as he tosses his cards onto the bed. "Is that so, Rogue? Kris here seems to think 'Spoons' is a game....." Kris sighs and throws the spoon she'd been holding at him. Nanaki speaks for her,"It's a game, Landon, but it's above your status of intelligence." Rogue's attention doesn't move from Landon's face. He was sitting at the foot of Tara's bed, shuffling the cards they'd been playing with and giving her a completly blank expression. Tara had moved from laying on the bed to sitting up, now dressed in her normal clothes. "Something wrong, Rogue? It looks like you've seen a ghost,"she says, moving slightly to sit more comfortably. She shakes her head. "No, I was just thinking, Tara....you feeling better?" "Hell of a lot better. Can I get out of this place? I've done my time, Rogue.....let me out, please?" Rogue smiles at the younger girl. "Just as soon as I get conformation from your doctor here and Xavier...." She looks pointedly at Landon,"We're going to have a talk later." Landon's expression turns into a grimace as he leans back against the bed beside Tara. "I knew it...."  
  
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Logan stares after his reflection after wiping the water from it with a towel. "What are you getting yourself into?"he qusetions his reflection as the face in the mirror remains emotionless. He throws the towel down and walks back to his room, kicking some clothes out from in front of the door to enter. He looks at the clock, then scowls. Where the hell was Marie? She'd promised to meet him outside earlier, but hadn't come and he hadn't seen her since their talk earlier that morning. Logan walks over to the dresser and begins searching for something there. He swipes his hand across the top, sending things crashing to the floor. He shifts through the stuff once more, then slams his fist into the dresser. "Where the hell are they?" He sniffs, hoping to catch a scent of someone, but gets nothing. His growl is one of annoyance as he tries once more to find his tags; he'd planned to give them back to Rogue.   
  
Some voice at the back of his mind tells him maybe she got them. He didn't think it was a good thing to have a voice at the back of his head talking to him, not good at all. "I'll go ask her now." Logan stalks out of his room, not bothering to try to control his temper. She shouldn't have been in my room, he theorizes as he walks toward her room and bangs heavily on the door once he reaches it. There's no reply for a moment, then she answers. "Come in, Logan and please don't break my door." He scowls and opens the door, walking in. Rogue barely glances up from the book she was reading. She was sitting in an armchair with her knees drawn up to her chest, mouthing the words written on the pages. "You'll be lucky if I don't break something else of yours,"Logan growls, walking over and yanking her up by one arm; the book falls to the floor and thumps closed. She pulls on her arm, trying to loosen it from his hold. "What's wrong with you, Logan? Let go of me..." She stands from the chair as he tries to pull her up again and almost falls, but Logan catches her balance.  
  
Logan stares down at her face, afraid but trying to cover it with her anger. He brings one hand up and traces the collar of her shirt, feeling for the chain that would be there if she'd taken it. He feels nothing except the shirt against her skin. Her hand touches his face, suddenly. "Logan, something's wrong. Talk to me." He doesn't reply, but releases her arm and brings that hand up to join the one still pressing against her collar bone. Rogue doesn't move. He slowly unbuttons first one button, then the next, continuing until the shirt had been undone halfway. Logan notices the change in her breathing and hears the diffrent rhythm of her heart beat, but simply continues stroking his hands of the exposed skin of her neck and chest, thinking. "What's wrong, Logan?" Her voice is quiet as if she's afraid of upsetting him. Almost the way people treat vicious animals. He stops his hands, one resting at her collar bone and the other has moved to her shoulder, under the material as if to slip it off. He looks up and meets Rogue's gaze, then says a single phrase. "They're gone." 


	14. Rogue's Room

This is not a smut fic even if this chapter gives a slight move toward it. I don't, can't write that type and won't try.   
  
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Logan stares at her watching as the recognition dawns in her eyes. "Your tags? If it was just about your tags why did you storm in here looking ready to kill me?"Rogue questions, looking up at him as she slides her hands up and down his arms, almost a calming motion. "I don't know...I figured you'd come and gotten them back. The thought of you or anyone else going through my room just got to me. You haven't been in my room, Marie?" She shakes her head, continuing the motion of her hands. "Logan, I wouldn't do that. I'll let you check anything you want to believe me...." Logan shakes his head. "I don't need to. You weren't in my room." She nods in agreement without looking away from him. "Is there something else you wanted, Logan?" "Just one thing,"he replies, leaning down enough to kiss her. Rogue responds instantly by returning it as he moves his other hand up and slides the shirt down her arms; her fingers fumble with the buttons at the cuffs.  
  
"Don't,"Logan growls against her lips, moving so her back was pressed against the wall. She stops struggling with the buttons and looks at him confused. He speaks before kissing her again. "I like the thought of having your hands trapped..." Her eyes widen as she freezes under his kiss but soon returns it without any further worry. Logan waits until he feels her mouth soften against his before moving down to kiss her neck; she leans her head back, letting him do anything. He strokes his hands down her body, touching everything while her hands simply rub along his arms and shoulders. He could feel the slight fear from her and also the feel of her want. Rogue's hands pull at his shirt, but don't accomplish much with her hands trapped by the still buttoned cuffs. "Logan.."she mumbles slightly as he kisses her shoulder; she presses her hands against his chest and looks up at him, waiting. "Patience is a virtue, Marie..." He removes his shirt, then returns to his previous position, kissing her shoulder. Rogue's nails dig sharply into his back as he bites her shoulder. Her gasp is quiet and followed by a second as he licks the place he bit. "Logan..." "We'll talk later,"he promises, moving his hands to lift her breasts in his hands.  
  
A knock comes on the door just as he returns his mouth to hers, tracing her lips with his tongue. Rogue tenses instantly and releases the grip of her nails of his shoulders. "You expecting someone?" She shakes her head, wordlessly. The knock comes again. "Marie?" Logan curses and pushes himself away from her, pulling his shirt back on. She sighs,"Jean..." "Don't just stand there. Get dressed again..." She doesn't move. Logan pulls the ends of her shirt back up and buttons it slowly over her breasts even though he'd much rather say to hell with Jean and act out some of his X-rated thoughts with Marie instead. The move seems to startle her and she pushes away from him, going to answer her door. Her cheeks are red-colored and her hand shakes as she opens the door. "H..Hi, Jean." Logan listens to the sound of their conversation. "Hello, Marie....do you know where Logan is? He promised to help me with something....." Rogue's smile falters as she turns back into the room. "Jean says you're suppoused to be helping her, Logan. Don't keep her waiting...." Logan notices the tone of her voice as he walks to the door, passing her the book he'd forced her to drop earlier. She takes it and returns to her chair and her previous position, making herself look more like a seveteen year old then a twenty-one year old. "We'll finish this later....." She nods, dismissivly without looking up. "Can't wait, Logan."  
  
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"I still don't see why this had to be either me or Ororo that had to come with you...." Logan doesn't bother to hide the disgust in his voice as he steers the car around a curve. If he hadn't been with Jean and very aware of her mental state he would have suggested the use of his bike instead of having to use hers and Scott's car. "I...I just don't want Scott here to see this, Logan. You have to understand...the baby was so important to him and I feel like losing it was all my fault,"Jean answers, tears streaming down her face. Logan nods in response to the words, but does't look away from the road. "Why couldn't Marie come?" "She's not old enough....I don't want her experincing anything that could hurt her at such a young age." "She's not as young as you think,"he mutters, still upset about Jean interrupting their time together in Rogue's bedroom. He knew she wouldn't have stopped him if they hadn't been interrupted. He slams his fist into the steering wheel making Jean start. "Is something wrong, Logan?" "Nothing.." He returns his attention to the road, but too late realizes his mistake in not paying attention. The last thing he remembers hearing before he went flying out the front windshield was Jean's scream and laughter...  
  
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How's this for a cliffhanger? 


	15. Worst Fears and True Intentions

"How much longer do I have to stay out of training, Rogue? I'm completly healed and there's not even any sign of a scar....." Tara closes her eyes, then opens them to glare at her teammates. Rogue shakes her head. "It's just until Landon approves that you have a good bill of health. At the moment no training....." "I'm going to go have a talk with Landon,"Tara announces as she makes her way out of the control room and into the hall where Landon was waiting after their training session. Rogue shakes her head once more, listening to their argument. A reminder of hers and Logan's. "Will you please say yes? It would save me the trouble of hurting you, Landon." This got a laugh from him. "Tara, you haven't hurt me since we met. I doubt you'd start now...give it a few more days, okay?" "I hate you." "Me, too." Rogue knew there was more truth to that last statement then most people would think with how careless he said it. Landon did hate himself and made no secret of it. Kind of similar to Logan, she realizes without even meaning to think of him. She doesn't move from her position looking over the training room. Her mind was replaying what happened earlier.  
  
"Hello, Marie....do you know where Logan is? He promised to help me with something....." What would Jean need Logan's help for?she wondered as she stared down at the training room, intently. Footsteps startle her and she turns, coming face to face with Scott, very close. She quickly notices the worry in his eyes and the strange glint to them. "Scott, is something wrong?"Rogue questions, placing one hand on his arm,"You don't look so well." "I'm fine, Marie....have you seen Jean?" She blinks, confused. "Jean?" "Yeah, Jean, my wife? Have you seen her?" "Not for awhile...Logan was suppoused to be helping her with something. I figured you knew about it..." She shrugs and begins cleaning under one of her nails with another in an attempt to look as if she could care less what Logan was doing. Scott's next words snap her out of the fake uncaring posture. "She's beeen gone for hours. Our room's a mess and my car's gone, Logan, too. Even the Professor can't find any reading for her. Mental or physical.." "So it's like she just vanished?" He nods. "Seems like it." Rogue bites her lip, tasting blood. She starts out the door and down the hall after a moment.   
  
"Marie, where are you going?" "I'm going to talk to Charles. Something would have to be wrong 'cause Jean ain't this irresponsible and Logan wouldn't do anything stupid with her state of mind." "What's wrong with her state of mind?"Scott questions, catching up to her and following her toward the office of Charles Xavier. Rogue sighs. "Don't pretend, Scott. Everyone knows she isn't completly right, hasn't been since you two lost the baby." She doesn't bother to knock on the door, but simply walks in. Her face can't cover the suprise at seeing both Ororo and Bobby seated in Charles' office, watching him intently. Xavier lifts his head. "Nice of you to join us, Rogue, Cyclops,"he says, using their codenames rather then given names,"Please sit." Rogue settles into the chair beside Bobby as Scott took the one on the other side of the room where she would have rather sat. He barely looks at her before returning his full attention to the professor. Xavier's vacant look was gone, replaced by one that was sad and held years of pain and misery. "Charles, what's wrong?" The questions comes from Scott who studies their mentor, intently. "My worst fears have come to light, Scott. My fears for Jean have been right...."  
  
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Logan listened to the sound of everything around him without bothering to open his eyes. He could smell everything around him. Blood, waste, dirt, death. The strongest was waste or blood. His head didn't hurt like a normal person's would after whatever had happened to him. He tries once more, unsuccessfully to move his arms from their position against his chest. A heavy beam of some sort held him tightly in place against whatever his prison was. "Stop fighting it, Logan. It's much easier on you that way..." The voice stops his movements and his worried thoughts about Jean. He could smell her and also blood, her blood. For the longest time he'd been worried that something had happened to her. There'd been no sound from her and only the smell of blood. "You were actually worried about someone other then sweet little Rogue? How touching...." Logan forces his eyes open without much difficulty and tries to make out the room around him. The only thing he was sure of was the darkness and shapes looming up around him. "Jean, where the hell are we?"he demands, glaring in the direction he hopes she is. Her laugh shows him he's wrong. "Not over there, Logan. It was touching. Your last thought was about poor Jean....pity it took so much, isn't it?"  
  
Logan growled in response then regretted the action as it came back to him, magnified. "Oh, sorry. I wouldn't make too much noise in this room. What you say can really hurt this way..." Her laughter this time is as if her words were a joke of some sort. Logan didn't get the joke. "Would you stop talking in damn riddles and explain something, Jean? Anything?" There's silence for a few momments and he wonders if she'd left him alone or if he'd been talking to her mentally without knowing it. "Not mentally, dear Logan, physically. I'm right here. Explain something? Yes, I believe I will..." Silence for a little longer as he struggles to break free of the bonds holding him. Jean's reply is short and oddly familiar when she does answer. "We're not the people you left behind and forgot about..."   
  
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If you don't recognize this phrase then you should re-read the first chapter. Someone else says this statement to Logan when he returns. Peace to my one reviewer, Anything but Ordinary3. The nice part of me kicked in and forced me to write this even though I should have been working on my Bio. 2 Project. *stares at the strange project then hides it under her bed until time for school* 


	16. Author's Note

This is on hold because I have writer's block. Great, isn't it? Suggestions are welcome, but at the moment I don't know where to go. All of this stuff happens as it comes to my mind and guess what? It's blank when it comes to right here. Suggestions box is set up *sets up crudely made suggestion box with Angel watching for people* Raised by the X-Men's next few chapters are planned out and just need to be written. Please suggest so I can keep this up and finish it for my one continuous reviewer. ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY3.....YOU ARE AWESOME. 


	17. Lost Twice, Forgotten Never

"How could you have been so stupid about her problems?"Scott asks himself, more a mumble then anything to keep the others from hearing. His silent ranting had been going on for almost an hour since they'd found Jean and Logan's location, then set out to find them. His thoughts were all angry at himself as he remembered the look on Rogue's face when Charles had explained things to them; all the color had drained from her already slightly pale face. "How could you ignore the strangeness to her behavior since we returned? I guess I always had a blind spot when it came to her..." A single tear forms at each of his eyes, but he blinks them away, angry at himself for still caring about her. She'd hurt them all and he should hate her, but he didn't. Scott knew he still loved her as much as he ever had. "You can't blame yourself, Scott. You wanted to think she was healed as much as the rest of us,"Ororo says, obviously sensing the source of his pain. She was sitting beside him while Bobby and Marie sat in the back, silent. Bobby had tried to draw Rogue into conversation several times, but his attempts were met by shakes of her head or silence. "But I should have recognized it. I walked away from the Professor because I believed I was right; I wasn't and that's put Logan in danger."   
  
"It's not your fault, Scott. I know you feel guilty and that it's your fault but you didn't push her into changing sides." Ororo's smile is comforting but he ignores it and continues staring ahead as he steers the X-Jet toward his destination. Iceman's pleaing with Rogue reaches his ears again. "Just say something. Anything to let me know you're okay..." She shook her head again. "Marie, dammnit say something!" "I'm fine." Her voice is little more then a whispher as she stares straight ahead, unblinking or moving. "At least you spoke,"Bobby comments, placing one hand on hers that clutches the armrest,"Logan'll be okay, Marie. He can't really die..healing factor." "I know, but what if there is a way he can die?" "He can't. The guy doesn't die unless you kill him instantly or remove his heart...those might not even work." Storm sighs,"Not helping, Bobby." "Sorry." Scott interrupts them as he lands the plane in what would almost count for a field. Silence falls among them once more as Rogue unbuckles her seat belt and gets out, stretching slightly. The move draws Bobby's attention and for a moment he forgets why they're there, but the sad, far away look in Scott and Rogue's face brings the memory back full force. "Where are they at, Scott?" "The professor said the place was around here somewhere....Rogue, where are you going?" Rogue had taken off running into the distance, leaving the others with no choice, except to follow her or lose her.  
  
"Child, don't run off!" Storm takes flight and manages to land beside the younger mutant as she stops. "Is something wrong, Rogue?" "I just....I want to find Logan and make sure he's okay." "We must wait for the others. You may need them.." Rogue shakes her head as if in protest, but doesn't move. Scott and Bobby catch up to them after a few moments; she's still staring off into the distance as they come to her sides. "Something's not right,"Bobby announces, looking around in front of them,"Wouldn't there normally be some kind of proof that something, anything went on?" Storm nods. "It's as if there's nothing..." "It can't be nothing. There has to be something!" Scott takes off in the direction Rogue had been running, searching for any sign of his wife or the friend he'd never admit was a friend. The other X-Men follow him. "Logan! Jean!" The single word shouts bring nothing, but more emptiness and the caw of birds. "Logan! Jean!" Rogue stops suddenly and turns in a diffrent direction, staring at something in the distance. "Scott, wait!" He stops and looks at her as the others still in their running.   
  
The familiar form of a man walks toward them, holding something limp and with dangling red hair in his arms. His movements appear almost robotic as he makes his way toward them, but he doesn't stop even when he reaches Rogue, Storm, and Bobby. Logan walks past them all and lays the ruined body of Jean down in front of Scott. "I brought her back to you, One-Eye...she's yours again." He turns to walk away as Rogue places one hand on his arm. "What happened? Are you okay?"she questions, holding onto his arm even as he tries to keep walking. He stops as if he knew she'd never be able to hold him alone but wouldn't give up his arm. "I'm fine. Take care of her....It doesn't matter what happened. It's over and you can't change it..." Logan ruffly but still gently enough not to hurt her yanks his arm from her and walks away in the direction of the X-Jet. The gathered three stand motionless as Scott lifts his wife's limp, ruined body into his arms and follows Logan in the direction he went. Rogue closes her eyes, realizing that she'd lost him again and was now alone. Storm touches her shoulder, but she pulls away. Bobby recieves the same reaction. "I won't cry, not for him, not now.." 


	18. Epilogue:Character Choice

This is first person POV from one character, but I won't say who they are. It's your decision or your guess. This could be one of two people if you think about it.  
  
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"You know it's kind of funny, Jean. Everything about you seemed perfect." I stare down at the grave holding the rose in one hand. The thorns on it cuts into my palm, but I barely notice as the blood drips down my hand. "What made you do something stupid? Never learned what happened that day....Logan left again. It was almost as if he hated himself for killing you, but I don't believe he did. He didn't kill you." The rose drops from my hand and settles on top of the worn dirt of the grave. "Six years. The only part that makes his disappearance easy to endure is his letters....none of them ever give a time for him to return. His last one said it may be after my time,"I whispher to the grave, sitting against the opposite stone and staring at the mound of dirt. Several other flowers litter the area, some wilted and dead. I stare at the gravestone and read it silently. JEAN GREY SUMMERS Born: January 9, 1973 Died: November 4, 2002 . Devoted wife and X-Woman.   
  
I almost laugh at the inscription written across the stone. Devoted. "No one's devoted, Jean. That's a lie...hard truth, but you get used to it. Your death showed me something....we're better off moving on rather then wasting our lives over someone." It hurts even now to think about everything that happened and a sharp pain comes in my hear; but I push it away. The time to be weak's over and I stand, wiping dirt off of knees and backside. "Time to go?" The quiet voice draws my attention away and I nod, wiping the stream of tears from my eyes. "Yeah, Logan, time to go..." I walk over and pick up my son, hugging him in my arms. He's barely five and doesn't understand why I come here every year on this day. Maybe some day I'll explain to Logan about this place and it's importance, but now's too soon. His expression changes as he notices my tears; his small hand wipes against them, clumsily. "What wrong?" "Nothing, baby, nothing at all....I was just saying good-bye."   
  
I bury my face against his dark brown hair, then turn my back on the grave that has haunted my dreams and thoughts. "Let's go home." Logan's arms tighten around my neck as I carry him back to the car, buckle him in, and take one more look back. There's a shadow and for a moment it looks almost like someone's there, almost. I turn and walk to the other side of the car, getting in and starting my car. I don't look back again as I drive away. I can't live in the past anymore or hold onto the memory of you or him. The X-Men were destroyed the day you died and he walked out again. If you were alive I send you this one message. "I'll never forgive you, but I can't hate you forever." Logan chatters happily about something he did at school that day and I listen without really hearing. Memories play through my mind like a picture show, but I block them, wanting to forget the pain and love....  
  
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Depressing much? Wow, I almost made myself cry! That's a new accomplishment. This seems cruel and also depressing, but I'm a realist and I tend to write somewhat tragic endings. Place the character of your choice here and I leave this ending open. Who's speaking? Who's son is Logan and What became of the other X-Men? Sorry it seems depressing, but I don't put much stock in happily ever after. There may be something more of the new alliances. MAYBE. Long Road Home: Logan's Return.......is now complete.  
  
Angel(xXrogue_demonXx) 


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